so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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