Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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