somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
