i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
