lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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