I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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