just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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