I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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