every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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