Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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