Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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