I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
