I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
