It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
