it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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