You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
