but the lizard people decide everything anyway
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
