With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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