The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize