is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
