Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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