we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
