She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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