i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
