my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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