pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
