Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I smell stomach acid.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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