Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
