Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Your cock deserves a montage
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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