Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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