Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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