I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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