I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
