The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
