I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
