Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Me too!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
