Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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