Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
