The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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