I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
