Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
