How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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