I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We need to get me chipped asap
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize