Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think i got beer on your cat.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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