sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize