my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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