How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
