aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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