Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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