Can Purell be used as lube?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
