PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
