I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
