Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
