i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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