you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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