Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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