That's when you crack a 10am beer
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
