did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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