I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
