ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
