covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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